I'm working on it...

I feel like this has been life slogan lately.  I didn't think things would magically be better as soon as I moved...but you know how sometimes in the back of your head a small part of you really does think like that? Yeah...

I'm working on losing weight/getting into better shape - I've only lost 5 pounds so far and seem to have already hit a plateau...I admit I haven't been trying super hard thus far, but it still sucks.  And I want to start running again but it's hard to find the time/energy, especially with a dog now...he's hates his kennel sooo much I feel so bad whenever I have to put him in it so I can go somewhere...and my energy level is in the crapper like it used to be.

I'm working on getting Kenai trained - I can tell he's getting better but he's still a puppy who enjoys destroying half of my stuff and only listens to me when he doesn't have anything better to do. He's such a sweet dog I feel bad getting mad at him...but...yeah...

I'm working on having a more respectable living space - it's hard because I have other stuff I want/need to spend money on but I also want a place that doesn't look like a college frat boy lives in.  And again this is a time/energy issue.

I'm working on getting settled (again) and trying to find people I actually enjoy talking with/being around (again)...all on my own.  If you've been reading this blog for a little while you might remember close to this time last year (well it's been more like 11 months) a post about looking to religion to maybe to find some like minded individuals.  This has been an ongoing thing since then.  I've looked into numerous UU congregations and while I like their ideals and philosophies on paper, in person I just don't feel "it" at the ones I've been to (and don't get me started on the one I went to in Santa Rosa last week...it was only one person but she totally ruined my first impression of this place).  To be honest I have no clue what "it" is.  I truly can't describe it - it's just a feeling of calm and peace inside....ah, that sounds so corny.  I happened to stumble upon it in the unlikeliest of places (for me) in Buffalo (I didn't go to services at this place (it was Catholic) but the church itself was open at all hours and just the building itself had some sort of weird calming affect on me) but once I did find it things started to turn around...both mentally and stuff around me.  Coincidence?  Maybe. Buuuut maaaybe not.

Since I found this unlikely spot for me in Buffalo, I've decided to broaden my range of places to look at.  I have a list of numerous denominations...in addition to congregations just in those denominations in the area.  I went to an United Methodist service today...definitely a more "progressive" take on Christianity...but I'm still not sure that's much cup of tea...it's not crossed off the list but I definitely want to see what's out there...and hell there's even a Reform Judaism congregation on there.  I know "the J word" will make some people cringe but A) if you know me, I really hope you're not that closed minded and B) of the research I've done online, I like what they have to say and how they go about doing it...now will that hold up in person? Only time will tell.

And I know I know a few atheists - who are probably laughing/rolling their eyes at all of this.  I fully admit I have no clue what/if anything is out there beyond what we really know scientifically...but is it really so bad if I find something that helps me feel at peace with the world I live in and be a better person (I'm totally looking for a place that does a good amount of volunteer work...in addition to other things)...though I admit, for most people, it seems religious beliefs tend have the opposite effect.  :o/

No matter what I still subscribe to the belief that I don't give a damn what you believe - if you're Catholic, Muslim, Taoist, Atheist or even Wiccan (yeah, I've actually met a few people who fall in that last category) or anything in between- as long as you're a decent person and don't try to push your stuff on me...we'll be fine.  When it comes down to the nitty gritty all religions believe the same things...they just have different ways of showing their faith and ways they go about talking and thinking about these things and who their messenger/connection to spiritual or whatever things is...but rather than focus on how similar they are, they all like to focus on the differences...

I could go on and on about my take on all this stuff but I'm sure most of you don't really care so I'll stop here.

What I really need to do is figure out what ideology Kenai subscribes to...he is the happiest damn dog I've ever seen.  Case in point - this was on our hike yesterday (more on that in the next post), he gets this excited over sticks...all the time...if could be half a happy as him I'd consider myself a success.  Don't mind the heavy breathing...did I mention I'm out of shape...and don't let the pavement fool you (paved areas are the only place they allow dogs at this park) it was f'ing steep!

But I do know one thing that will make it all better, for the time being.  Breakfast for dinner.  Later taters.